Nude Quotes: Humorous

Humorous

Those without bras have the support!

When wearing only a smile - be sure to smile a lot.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Skinny-dippers never have to worry where to put wet swimwear so it won`t soak the car seats on the way home!

"A streaker is one who is unsuited for his work."
-inside of a fortune cookie, no kidding!

My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I`m not naked, I`m in the band."
Steven Wright

"..all those textiles sure are going to be pissed when they finally get to heaven, and find out the nudists have been there all along"

Beware of the nude man who offers you the shirt off his back!

A nudist has no fear of a pick-pocket.

The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can`t just say it`s pictures of people naked. For example, you have these primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot, and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal saying goes: "N`wam k`honi soit qui mali," which means, "If you think you can catch a wildebeest in this climate and wear clothes at the same time, then I have some beach front property in the desert region of Northern Mali that you may be interested in."
So it`s not considered pornographic when National Geographic publishes color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest naked, or pounding one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason naked, or whatever. But if National Geographic were to publish an article entitled "The Girls of the California Junior College System Hunt the Wildebeest Naked," some people would call it pornography. But others would not. And still others, such as the Spectacular Rev. Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked.
- Dave Barry

"Most of the year, a Montana nudist is a polar bare."

Skin does not equal sin.
- Slogan

I`ve got a brand nude attitude!
- Slogan

He who sleeps in the raw, is in for a nude awakening.
- Sign on a door.

I`m completely nude under my clothes!
- Slogan

Grin and bare it!
- Slogan

"One man you don`t catch with his pants down is a nudist."
- David Letterman

"Take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, and terrified citizens will phone the police and report: `There`s a naked person outside!`"
- Mike Nichols

"If we were meant to be nude, we would have been born that way."
- Saying

"On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary."
- Dilbert

"Nudism - Try it on!"
- Slogan

"Some day people will grow up and realize that the only thing vile about human bodies is the small minds some people have developed within them."
- Dick Hein

A couple of guys are sitting by a pool at a naturist camp and a woman walks by. Noticing the very tiny tan lines from her very tiny bikini, one guy turns to the other and says "wow, I bet she really looks good in that!"
- Submitted by Richard Kenner

As my wife tells her friends about my lifestyle, "You can take him out, but you can`t dress him up."
- Jim Leaman

"Be adventurous, do something nude once in awhile."
- Slogan

"It`s easier to make friends of naturists than to make naturists out of friends."
- Dave Williams

"Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes."
- Henry David Thoreau "Walden"

"There are those who so dislike the nude that they find something indecent in the naked truth"
- F H Bradley

If it is so dirty to be a nudist, than one day I hope to be nothing but a pile of dirt!
- Comment

"If I see anything I have not seen before, I shall shoot it!"
- Comment

"Nudists beware! Your end is in sight!"
- Sign at Church Entrance

We may not see you often, but we see more of you.
- Common Saying

Two kids were playing ball outside a nudist resort.
The ball rolled behind the bushes and one of the kids went to retrieve it. When he came back the second kid asked, "What was behind the busehes?"
The first kid replied "Oh just a bunch of people playing volleyball and sunbathing."
"Are they men or women?"
"I dont`t know, they don`t have any clothes on."

	Those without bras have the support!
	When wearing only a smile - be sure to smile a lot.
	A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
	Skinny-dippers never have to worry where to put wet swimwear so it won`t soak the car seats on the way home!
	"A streaker is one who is unsuited for his work." -inside of a fortune cookie, no kidding!
	My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I`m not naked, I`m in the band." Steven Wright
	"..all those textiles sure are going to be pissed when they finally get to heaven, and find out the nudists have been there all along"
	Beware of the nude man who offers you the shirt off his back!
	A nudist has no fear of a pick-pocket.
	The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can`t just say it`s pictures of people naked. For example, you have these primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot, and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal saying goes: "N`wam k`honi soit qui mali," which means, "If you think you can catch a wildebeest in this climate and wear clothes at the same time, then I have some beach front property in the desert region of Northern Mali that you may be interested in." So it`s not considered pornographic when National Geographic publishes color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest naked, or pounding one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason naked, or whatever. But if National Geographic were to publish an article entitled "The Girls of the California Junior College System Hunt the Wildebeest Naked," some people would call it pornography. But others would not. And still others, such as the Spectacular Rev. Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked. *- Dave Barry*
	"Most of the year, a Montana nudist is a polar bare."
	Skin does not equal sin. *- Slogan*
	I`ve got a brand nude attitude! *- Slogan*
	He who sleeps in the raw, is in for a nude awakening. *- Sign on a door.*
	I`m completely nude under my clothes! *- Slogan*
	Grin and bare it! *- Slogan*
	"One man you don`t catch with his pants down is a nudist." *- David Letterman*
	"Take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, and terrified citizens will phone the police and report: `There`s a naked person outside!`" *- Mike Nichols*
	"If we were meant to be nude, we would have been born that way." *- Saying*
	"On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary." *- Dilbert*
	"Nudism - Try it on!" *- Slogan*
	"Some day people will grow up and realize that the only thing vile about human bodies is the small minds some people have developed within them." *- Dick Hein*
	A couple of guys are sitting by a pool at a naturist camp and a woman walks by. Noticing the very tiny tan lines from her very tiny bikini, one guy turns to the other and says "wow, I bet she really looks good in that!" *- Submitted by Richard Kenner*
	As my wife tells her friends about my lifestyle, "You can take him out, but you can`t dress him up." *- Jim Leaman*
	"Be adventurous, do something nude once in awhile." *- Slogan*
	"It`s easier to make friends of naturists than to make naturists out of friends." *- Dave Williams*
	"Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes." *- Henry David Thoreau "Walden"*
	"There are those who so dislike the nude that they find something indecent in the naked truth" *- F H Bradley*
	If it is so dirty to be a nudist, than one day I hope to be nothing but a pile of dirt! *- Comment*
	"If I see anything I have not seen before, I shall shoot it!" *- Comment*
	"Nudists beware! Your end is in sight!" *- Sign at Church Entrance*
	We may not see you often, but we see more of you. *- Common Saying*
	Two kids were playing ball outside a nudist resort. The ball rolled behind the bushes and one of the kids went to retrieve it. When he came back the second kid asked, "What was behind the busehes?" The first kid replied "Oh just a bunch of people playing volleyball and sunbathing." "Are they men or women?" "I dont`t know, they don`t have any clothes on."